5 Self Care Tips I Wish I Knew in My Twenties
If you are struggling with fitting self-care into your day, you are definitely not alone, and these self-care tips can definitely help. But when you’re busy or stressed, it can be hard to believe it’s possible.
What’s more, if you’re like me, you might not fully grasp just how adaptable self-care can be.
In my early twenties, my understanding of self-care was pretty superficial.
I was starting a career as a therapist and although I was educated in what it takes to foster good mental health, my awareness of how to implement it left a lot to be desired.
Before we dive into 5 must know self-care tips I wish I knew in my twenties lets discuss what my beginner self care routine was.
This is a guest post written by Hayley Gallagher, the creator of The Centered Parent Blog. Scroll to the end to read more about our guest blogger.
A Flawed Self-Care Routine
I only occasionally prioritized my health back then. I exercised here and there, ate veggies once in a while, and even got my hair done when I could afford it. But I wasn’t taking care of my entire being, and I didn’t do it consistently. I also suffered from the misconception that seeing a therapist would mean I was not equipped to do the job myself. (smh)
Self care includes taking care of your physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing
Back then, adding things like yoga, therapy, or journaling to my self-care routine was not on my radar. As a licensed therapist with nearly 20 years experience in the field, I can happily say I know better now.
I viewed self-care as special opportunities to treat myself
Pedicures
Starbucks
Occasional exercise
or skipping alcohol for a week to catch up on sleep.
I was making next to nothing back then and so I didn’t really think self-care was in the budget.
In my mind, quality self-care was for people who could afford the spa; it wasn’t for me.
Self-Care for Your Whole Self
But over the last decade, I’ve done a lot of research on the true nature of self-care.
I’ve discovered that self-care is more than skin deep, and I’ve amassed a healthy collection of self-care tips. I’ve learned from inspiring gurus on self, like Dr. Brene Brown, Dr. Jessica Clemons, and Dr. Bertice Berry.
I’ve learned to implement a self-care practice in my own life that I simply couldn’t have realized in my twenties.
I couldn’t realize it, not because I didn’t have the money, but because I lacked clarity on what I didn’t know.
I know now that self-care is about taking care of your whole self.
Self-care isn’t just physical, it’s not just about feeling beautiful on the outside, or achieving your ideal weight through exercise. Those things can be part of it, but true self-care is more well-rounded than just physical self-care.
True self-care includes caring for yourself on an emotional, physical, cognitive, social, professional, and spiritual level.
Keep reading to learn 5 simple yet beneficial self-care tips that I learned in my twenties.
5 Self-Care Tips: Lessons Learned
Over the last decade or so (and especially since I’ve become a mom), I’ve discovered that in order to be at my best, I need to keep my internal well full. During this growth process, I have found ways to fill my well that really work for me.
1. Self care isn't just superficial
Self-care is so much more than primping and polish. While feeling good about the way you look and taking care of your hygiene and appearance are important parts of a good self-care routine, they are definitely not the end of the story.
Comprehensive self-care includes caring for yourself on an emotional, cognitive, social, professional, and spiritual level.
For example, emotional self-care is all about finding what helps you stay centered, calm, and content.
The goal is not to avoid emotion but to welcome it and work with it.
This type of self-care is all about increasing your emotional IQ, regulating your emotions, and processing those emotions when they come.
If you’re interested in learning more, this article on self-care speaks to all the different types.
2. Good self-care is self-sustaining
It may seem counterintuitive, but the more self-care you fit into your normal routines, the more self-care you will do. In other words, quality self-care generates more quality self-care.
If you start with even a little self-care, you increase the chances that you will operate at a calmer baseline when challenges arise. Your level-headed responses will position you to manage problems more efficiently than you would have if you were stressed out.
Thus, you solve more problems than you create. Fewer problems on your plate means more time to do the things you enjoy. In other words, more time for self-care!
One easy way to get started with adding more self-care activities to your routine is to use a checklist.
I made a self-care checklist for parents that is packed with self-care tips and activities to help you identify loads of ways to inject more self-care into your day. Even if you’re not a parent, the list can be beneficial.
3. No matter how busy you are, you can absolutely fit self-care into your day
It may seem hard to believe, but there are actually self-care strategies that won’t take up extra time and won’t cost an arm and a leg, either. This can be achieved by doubling up on things you do already.
Take advantage of the chunks of time that are reserved for other things. You will probably find that when you take better care of yourself, you will become more efficient and productive, not less.
For example, if you enjoy meditation but you just don’t have time thanks to a long, traffic-packed commute, pull up your favorite guided meditation on Spotify or YouTube during the gridlock.
It’s cost-effective and time-saving. Not only will it help you get centered without spending extra time or money, but meditating in traffic will help you cope!
Check out this post for more self-care tips for busy schedules.
4. Boundaries are a good thing
I used to have a tough time saying no, especially when it came to social invites.
I had a mistaken belief that if I told people no, then it would negatively impact my relationships. Whether it be a favor, a request to hang out, or just some “therapeutic” conversation, saying no was rarely something I would do.
I also struggled to say no to myself. Sometimes, I would go ahead and buy those shoes, get that pedicure, or take that trip, even if I knew I couldn’t afford it. In most cases, those poor boundaries didn’t serve me.
Over the years I learned that one major way to take care of myself is to participate in activities that fill my internal well as much as possible.
For example, massages can be an excellent addition to your self-care routine.
But if it’s going to hurt you financially, a pricey massage might empty your well rather than fill it. The resulting guilt and money troubles won’t benefit your overall well-being.
Same goes for social outings - if you only go out to avoid FOMO, and not because seeing your friends will be restorative for you, then maybe sit one out.
Related post: How to know if you lack boundaries
5. Any amount of therapy is worth it
I am embarrassed to admit it, but I didn't start seeing a therapist until my thirties. I fell victim to the classic cliched thinking that some therapists suffer from: to be a good therapist, you should be able to manage your problems on your own.
After my first session. I felt the benefits immediately and was so glad I finally took the plunge. But I could have kicked myself for not starting sooner. The thing is, many of us see the need for regular workouts, but less of us understand that our minds need exercise and care just as much as our bodies.
Therapy is hard work, but it absolutely pays off. As one of my self-care heroes Dr. Bertice Berry once said, you’ve got to clean your filter. And therapy is an important way to do that.
If you’re worried about how to swing it financially, you’ve got more options than you might think.
Paying for therapy
If you have healthcare, it might be covered in unique ways.
Contact your health care provider
You should contact the customer service number on the back of your card to get more info about your benefits.
Check for work benefits
Your workplace might also have an employee assistance program (sometimes referred to as EAP) that may offer free sessions for specific life struggles.
What’s more, there are lots of therapists who offer sliding pay scales based on income. Some non-profit organizations even offer free therapy to those who qualify.
Catholic Charities, for example, offers counseling for individuals, couples, and families, regardless of religious affiliation or ability to pay.
In conclusion
So now that you know a little more about the importance of self-care and how to make it work for you, what are your next steps?
They say it takes a couple weeks of repetition for something to become a habit. Maybe pick one or two simple self-care tips (perhaps from the checklist I mentioned) to incorporate into your routine this month.
Let us know in the comments which of the self-care tips you identified with!
Meet our guest author
Hayley Gallagher, MA, AT, LPC, is a licensed counselor and sleep-deprived mom with nearly 20 years of experience working with families.
She also is the founder of The Centered Parent, a strength-based parenting blog that offers useful tips on parenting, self-care, and family wellness.
Connect with her on Facebook here.
